... totally deranged ... nothing has changed ...
Mantra: "Will we ever do anything more with our lives"
As I walked home from the shops, an idea for the next 'Murmur' -
What is schizophrenia? based on what i have experienced & read etc ...
"The secret of life is that there is no secret. Naturally, this statement is open to interpretation."
Absolutely FLYING just strolling around shops & meal areas in the Dandenong Plaza ...
Yes ... the MORE you read the more sense Leon starts to make compared with those attempting to 'cure' him. Or is that just me? I mean the very use of the phrase 'delusional system' absoultely assumes that you know what 'reality' is and the other person does not.
"Reality is multi-layered. Normally, we are only aware of the bottom layer and we might start to believe that this layer is all that there is. I would compare it to living your entire life on the bottom floor of a skycraper and never venturing into the lift or up the stairs.
I had an astonishingly vivid dream this morning about a crashed UFO at Cape Schanck. I ventured out onto the rocks to get a good view of it and within the dream I was visualising what it look like compared with photographs in a book. Then when i wanted to get back to the shore, a powerful rip developed in the channel I had just walked across to get out to where I was. I momentarily had visions of being swept out to sea and never being seen again but then the rip instantly calmed and I got back to shore. Have you been down to Cape Schanck recently?
The other one was equally vivid - I was in Myer and the only male in the cosmetics area. An announcement over the intercom asks if anyone wants to sleep for 30 seconds. Nobody spoke up so I said yes. I closed my eyes and started counting and before I reached 'ten', a man grabs my arm and injects something into my left wrist. He sees how worried I am and says it is a revolutionary new facial treatment to remove wrinkles and gives me instructons on what to expect ... :)
Then in my email -
Earth Lights image, courtesy of Betty ... :)
... then Gary Zukav ... on temptation ... on same tape as Chimera ... "I try to look at it this way ... every moment is an opportunity ... you have the choice of which experience you will invite into your present reality ..."
... yes, when we hear the word 'temptation' we usually think sex, drugs, gambling, food ... but he broadens it to any moment we feel the impulse to indulge in anger or judgement or whatever ...
Plus read over those 'reflections on the mental health system' ... needs polishing but there are some great seeds in there even if the overall tone is not exactly 'inner disarmament' ... is it
here ?? ...
'Heal Normality' - here is a Bulletin Board & other atricles ...
Some EXTREME points of view but also the observation - 'Any synthetic chemical compound you put into your body is toxic, regardless of the crap your 'doctor' tells you to placate your anxieties. It ruins your brain function; alters,permanently, your nervous and endocrine systems and shortens your expected life span. Not to mention the havoc it wreaks on everything else, including your ability to make good decisions.
A Naturapath can help you not only to come off of the poison you have been prescibed by you empirical physician, but can help you to heal the damage done, and the root problems through nutrition (with herbal supplements) and exercise ...' {under heading of 'wanting off the meds'} ...
SURGE absolutely contunues ... started those excrpts last night ... today I take it out again from the library ... :)
Plus this scribble
... and this one
Today's Mantra: "Materialism is the absurd suggestion that reality begins & ends with the physical realm. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic ..."
{Your belief about reality creates EVERY experience you will ever have}
Yes ... continuing the recent theme of experiences which go beyond the norm ... the jacket of Monroe's book - again 'without his willing it' ... and began in 1958! so a LONG time to refine etc ...
Reading a bit more of Leon in the book, it occurs to me that Mr Rokeach makes at least three assumptions -
* That the person is delusional. He could not possibly be who he believes he is
* That he needs to be cured/rescued ... returned to the 'real world'. He assumes that the patient will be 'better off' once he is 'cured'.
* BIGGEST of all is that he has the power & expertise & know-how to successfully guide the patient and assist his return ...
In a whimsical mood ... I post
Everything you ever wanted to know about shchizophrenia but couldn't be bothered asking ... to that message board ...
The game with everything
... :)
article about jon kroschel
...
discussion boards
about ... :)
You could argue that the Monroe book ties all the threads together in describing "Belief System Territories" in the afterlife. So, each of the other description such as Buddhist bardo or Christian 'Heaven' or whatever is accurate as FAR as it goes but is just describing one region. Like describing life in Melbourne and assuming it is either the only life on Earth or that all life on Earth is like that ... :)
And already the excerpts I have transcribed from opening it at 'random' really resonate or shed light on what I have experienced in this lifetime ... and I can clearly see myself reacting or saying many of the things he says along the way ... :)
... still flying typin up Monroe excerpts ... "Every moment in time is a special little moment in your life" ...
Lynne Andrews discussion board
More on the 'experience' theme - this link posted at THE forum -
From the real to the unreal {or vice versa} ... Bob had also posted 'The Game' ... :) ... it's about attempts tom 'explain away' anomalous experiences & suggest that our everyday level is the one that is 'right' or 'best' for us to be in ... YET! most human beings rarely spend even 24 consecutive hours in this state and if they try to maintain it past 48 or so ... you tend to go a little nuts ...
... JUST as I composed test66 to send ????
... oh plus!! read walter.doc ... from Mira ... wow! read JUST the end about 'May our world be purged of this type of crime, and may the names of the perpetrators and their accomplices be stamped out of the family of mankind' ... I can understand such an extreme position ... what will she make of my 'Father forgive them' ... or any of the rest of my 'stuff' ...
... LET alone 'there are NO victims' ... and to be HONEST I still wrestle with that one ...
... all the same it is very well written & ought to be on the web somewhere ...
... plus her compassion about his demeanour ... pity most people are so quick to judge & condemn anything that is sufficiently 'different' ... :(
... plus her myths about psychiatric knowledge & drugs ...
... it's quite a read! "It is love that has the power to improve lives, while psychotherapy remains notoriously ineffective"
I may email details to people who may find it intriguing ... along with my ideas on tulpas etc etc ...
Then I went shopping and as usual ... well, I'd go so FAR as to say the question of whether or NOT you believe there truly are 'victims' is the central issue as to what you believe about the universe and reality and human experience ...
I mean on the one hand you have those links in journal a while back ... and
AOTPC which states quite simply: 'This creates struggle and defensive/offensive behavior. We find victims in the third and fourth dimensions. On the fifth dimension (and above), everyone knows that we are all immortal beings.' ...
And one could be a smartarse and say to her -
* The above aotpc excerpt & others from past journals ...
* The trouble with seeing victims is its natural conclusion is to extend it to everyone and thus there's nobody left to hang the blame on. Once you allow the idea that people's behaviour & personality & beliefs are largely shaped by events & circumstances beyond their direct control ... well okay, that allows us compassion for Walter & his troubles and accepting him as he is ... but how do some people get excluded from that ... one can use the same arguments to say the psychiatrists had little say in how they 'turned out' ...
* And if you say love is a HUGE factor in how people do turn up then you have to excuse even those you perceive as 'the enemy' because they are the way they are ...
The Medical History
of the World
I could never jump like Jesus,
Found quite a few links for 8myths.htm ... yes ... after dredging up all those STRONGLY opposed to psychiatry itself or meds or involuntary ... hmmm ... cos it does sound a bit insulting - 'Oh I could never work in this system - it does some cruel & unjust things to vulnerable people' ... like the Borg ?? ...
... then again it would curl her hair to read what I used to say about the only solution to having a world full of normal people ... {let's just leave that topic for the time being, shall we
Mulling over the common threads between all the spritual paths ... apart from the obvious {which given the current state of the world is NOT so obvious apparently} ... basically they are all saying that complaining, blaming, judging, criticising, indulging in anger ... there's never sufficiently good reason for any of these activities and you damage yourself each time you do ... {this needs work}
... yet hardly ANY of us seriously contemplate living without doing all of the above ... :)
Plus our constant habit of comparing ... when you look at it, any judgement you make involves a comparison. Generally measuring one person 'against' another ... or against some ideal ... and if you take as your ideal that we all have unlimited potential & are capable of loving everyone ... then you could say that we all fail to 'measure up' ...
The pattern sure has changed ... after an unprecedented 78 or 79 consec days reaching 20, four of the past six have been under! And rain bands giving us much needed & very welcome precipitation. Just thinking about rain ... if it never rained then there would probly be No life on earth ... the flowers and trees and food crops ... the insects ... the animals that eat insects ... the animals that eat grass etc and the animals that eat other animals ...
So what better to do on a grey, rainy day than to type up some excerpts
... I'm talking about
Return of the Gods by Mr Von Daniken ...
... and the chosen section continues the theme of experiences out-of-the-ordinary ... :)
... and has quite a few parallels to Acacia ... esp 'intended to enable those who experience it to show their fellow human beings a new way forward' ... boy ...
... checking through some of my countless links ... found that 'The Way to the Light' was NOT at angelfire ... that's odd ... so I had to upload it ...
{click}
... it says what SO many are saying: 'The earth plane is only one of many, and your reality is what you have with the earth mind. It is so limited that our concepts cannot be expressed easily for your understanding.' ... and JUST after that it says what Erich is saying! - 'All that is required is for the souls to
awaken and all will become as it should. We have this work on many worlds, for the earth planet is not the only planet with life' ... then goes on to say 'so many need help that our teachers are not enough' ... hmmm ...
Found a site Dijana & Gilbert might get a kick out of ...
here ... I actually SAW this book in a shop once ... then again IF it IS happening to you it's NO laughing matter
Plus this list of 58 common indicators ... :) ... including self-esteem problems etc ??
... plus UFO artist! - http://anw.com/mysteries.htm
Harbajan has taken 31 out of 48 wickets in the series! & Hayden over 500 runs! A remarkable three Test series ... pity the days of 5 Test series are gone except for Windies & Poms, neither of who are terribly crash hot at the moment ... (still one wicket to take!) - he's taken 7,6,7,7 in past two matches!!! ... make that 8 in this innings! ... that probably indicates TWO things - (a) Aussies brought up on hard fast wickets have trouble adapting to playing agst quality spin bowlers under Indian conditions (which MAY explain why we have not won a series in India in 30 years!) and (b) He is the stand-out bowler in a team where nobody else seems to trouble the batsmen! ... {equally, India rarely performs as well in Oz as they do under their own conditions - I'm sure we can all relate to that to some extent
... and McGrath has outscored Ponting in the series!!!
... some interesting links in the end added to Return of the Gods ... :)
Also the re-entry of the MIR space station ... and seemingly without 'incident' ...
Then a story on people angry that the justice system hasn't punished those who killed their children or family members HARSHLY enuf ... try wandering in and tellin them that 'there are no victims' !!! when they see this as having ruined their lives 'forever' ... they'd RIP your head off ... rage agst the universe is the MOST painful experience there is ...
... anyway ... the following also passed through my mind ...
* Well, that's an interesting question to ask - if we are simply some unplanned cosmic accident then WHY do we have empathy at all! ... why do we give a STUFF what happens to somebody else ... {pre-empting the argument that God cannot exist when you look at wars & unfairness & injustice ...
* Honest!? - Acacia & BEFORE it, I was as caustic & anti-social an atheist as you'd ever wish to meet ...
* HEAPS under shower ... "If you REALLY want to know beyond ALL doubt ... meditate ... if you want to wnader aimlessly through a wasteland of uncertainty desperately clutching onto a whole bunch of unsubstantiated opinions then don't ... ???
* Yet it all carries the age-old tone of 'My way is MUCH better than your way.'
Yet! the most PERSUASIVE argument is to LIVE the teachings of nonjudgement & unconditional love ... :) ... and being genuiney THRILLED by the miracle ...
... and true LOVE making NO demands or expectations or criticisms ... blame ...
... and no ATTACHMENTS ...
* Relatively few are really TUNED in at this point in human history so you might never meet them ...
* Yeah, of ALL the things people take to granted ... being sufficiently in control of mind & emotions ... to NOT end up in loony bin or jail or ostracised ... :)
Yes, tennis {& other sport} was my first experience of altered states of consciousness ...
Unexpected but interesting discussion on depression and being 'out of control' ... may transfer into this journal or elsewhere on my site at some stage ...
www.angelfire.com/wv/geoall/march16.html
... shame ... guilt ... apathy ... feeling overwhelmed ... medications ... meditations ... side effects ...
... yes, I must make a mental note to sift through those notes ...
Here are a few sites -
{Many of these came from an article in the March 2001 edition of PC Update}
www.greatplacestostay.com.au - also great links page
Fun sites - mainly about canine friends
K9 Web - includes art gallery
Beheading of statues in the Angkor temples - and an interesting forum ...
Lyrics to Garden of Love {yes, I did watch a bit of Foxtel
... plus how you do NOT evolve if you allow someone to come in and 'save' you ... hmmm ...
... and an excellent analysis of fear, one sentence stands out: 'Fear is based, from our perspective, on a misunderstanding of ones own worth, and security' ... and the aliens find it so painful to witness ... and ir drains the very life-force from people & civilisations ... and the notion that 'your physical form is a pool of chemical thrown together by accident, so that you are all an accident, living meaningless lives of chance' is entirely a fear-based view ... huge article and that's just chapter one??
Plus some thoughts on using drugs as a route to altered states of consciousness ... and the predicted changes in the next 12 or so years that sure will freak some people RIGHT out!!! ...
... and yet not SO long ago, I would have said somethin like 'the aliens who avoid us like the plague are SPOT on, the human race should be wiped out, it's a cancer ... its history is so foul and repugnant I don't wish to be considered part of the species' ...
Curiously, I'm reminded of that terrible joke: 'Apathy is a big problem but who cares?'
Did NOT turn PC on ALL day Monday ... or till 5:30 Tues ...
... even a bit of 'channeling' of my 'old self'
... sent an email titled 'Everything you ever wanted to know about reality but couldn't be bothered asking' ...
... and tulpas ...
This latest 'strategy' in the 'war against drugs' ... oh, it would be laughable if it weren't so tragic ... further evidence that the human race by-and-large is utterly clueless ... the basicthrust is getting 'tough on drugs' ... yeah, a world in which the knee-jerk response to social problems is to 'get tough' creates precisely the atmosphere in which the vulnerable & disillusioned & fragile will turn to drugs (or worse) rather than their families etc ...
{Not to mention the hypocrisy of it all when you consider the fact that the two MOST destructive drugs are perfectly legal! - more lives are 'ruined' or cut short by alcohol & cigarettes than by all the illegal stuff ... so if we're going to 'get real' ...}
To cheer you up - read this ... but there is a warning: 'Read these files at your own risk. If you are prone to delusions or paranoia, then we suggest you turn back now' ...
Mood picked up remarkably with a trip to Molly's {slightly early} third birthday party ...
* List of sites! - alien - esp alex collier - antipsychiatry - spirit - general interest - sacred sites - Angkor - Ricketts -
* Myths abt psychiatric drugs!
* What is schizophrenia - could be an edition in ITSELF!!!
* Yes, where does the belief {and that is ALL it is, do not let anyone tell you their belief is a 'fact'} that we are biological machines and at the mercy of faulty biology or brain chemistry ... where DOES such a picture of reality lead? Nowhere. It has absolutely zero hope embedded into it. If/when somethin like schizophrenia occurs, it's just seen as rotten luck that it happened to you. It has no deeper meaning or significance, it's just a few chemicals gone haywire in your brain ... mate ...
* Latest Poetry
* Observations & musings from this journal ...
* Karma & its relevance to parenting & psych system etc ... all of human experience
* BOOK reviews!!! - Laing - Monroe - Daniken - 3 Christs - Troubled - BOOKS4 etc ...
* Sites which procliam NO victims ... and that it is the absolute essential question as a human being to answer - do i believe the universe is an unfair, unfeeling place or do I believe something else ...
* And yet! I still have days where it's enormously tempting to believe I'm a victim and woe is me ... and I even indulge these temptations brielfy on occasion ...
* And I fully realise that, at the end of the day, my opinions have been very much coloured by my experiences. I would never have devoted this much time and energy into exploring the question of just what is schizophrenia if I had not experienced it personally.
More details ...
www.angelfire.com/wv/geoall/march16.html
A bit more mildly sarcastic stuff flowing through my mind ... more possible seeds for a book on the whole subject of psychiatry & hospitalisation and normality and the status quo versus how we COULD treat people if we let go of our fear and trembling for a moment ...
... and as with all humour, there's more than a grain of truth in most sarcasm and jest ...
"Did you ever consider the possibility that you are doing people a grave dis-service by blocking or dulling their emotional pain. If it is indeed the accumulated karma of hundreds of lives then they NEED to experience the full intensity of it in order fro their souls to evolve ... or don't you believe in souls ... "
... plus a few more thoughts on placebos & social security rules & conforming (especially if it's coerced) ...
Plus a couple more photos -
May need to re-scan and brighten thos images ...
dog & cat posters
... plus terry lane - here
More posters of search for 'dog days'
Amy - email ERMHA?? ... are they ready? ... will they ever be ... {yes, a SPOT of reflecting the other day ... if ALL you have experienced is LOUSY service then a minute improvement might seem relatively 'good' ... similar argument could be used when discussing the experiences of normal folk ...
CHI poster! - 440k - send as email attachment??
More mulling on yesterday's themes ...
... I mean it IS a perfectly valid argument ... one might even say that being depressed or going a bit CRAZY is the
natural reaction once you become an adult and realise what human beings have done and continue to do TO each other ...
Reply to that kids letter to the editor?? -
Many thanks to the Grade 3 students of Korumburra Primary School for the timely reminder. Sadly, there's a very good reason why most adults tend not to say 'Good Morning'. In their mind's eye it is not a good morning - it is just another morning. They have allowed themselves to become cynical & scared & conventional. They devote upwards of 99% of their mental and emotional activity to the dreadfully serious business of survival. Then they wonder why their lives are no longer magical. They might even try to persuade you that 'this is as good as it gets'. Listen to them but don't buy it for one moment. As you grow up, observe adults closely and resolve not to follow in most of their footsteps. Here's wishing everyone a Good Day.
- and in the end I did email it to the Age ...
Today's mantras:
'Why don't people believe me when I tell them that I am the blood of Christ'
'I used to believe in all the wonderful ticklings of my life'
{a couple of others I never bothered to write down}
Tendulkar again ... :) ...
click
... yes, 10,000 is a LOT of runs ... I wonder what % have been made on the featherbed pitches in his native land ...
More emails - about how both Australia & America are relatively 'young' countries and no pyramids or temples dating back centuries ... maybe the aliens gave the ancient Aborigines a different message ... :)
Twyman & world puja event - click - looks like I just missed it ... but his site has an excerpt from his new {or upcoming} book 'Praying Peace' ... which kind of relates to the subject of recent emails ... hmmm ...
... and he has more books & CD's & tapes than I had previously imagined ... yet when you look at what I did with the Our Lady of the Universe CD ... not to mention the Flightwaves ... :) ... one tape is a recording of an 'Emissaries Workshop' ... I suppose it all indicates that we like what we're hearing but deeeeep down we still are reluctant to believe it beyond that shadow of doubt ...
Been on the roof again - rust is a very insidious thing ... almost slipped off! while applying Plastibond to the holes ... and wondering if i put the right amount of hardener in ... and wondering what it looks like from the inside ... and remembering the tar and flashing used for repairs a couple of years back ... hmmm ...
Need to update a few links & images on my front page ... and my links pages are WAY out of date ... people will be so lost if I don't do something real quick ...
Decided to type up some of Ultimate Journey by Robert Monroe ...
here ... next time I'm at library could borrow it and/or the Visionary Human which has a great interview with Bob ...
IF you thought I had a few links ... searching for Monroe links ... came across
THIS!
... :) ... one is 'why does anything exist'!~!!!
Wrote another poem while walking home from the shops ...
In the early morning summer breezes,
Away in the distance someone sneezes,
I think I'll buy some grapes today.
}
... this one is a book I grabbed a while back ... probably before the events of Acacia ward 25 months ago ...
}
Interesting trip to the new Museum - so much there that you can't really absorb it all in one visit ... lucky I purchased a two-year membership when the prices were low ... :)
}
Reading through a few links from recent times, those ones in the 'Ultimate Journey' excerpts ... esp this one about alien involvement and manipulation & abduction of humans ... sure, most would scoff or laugh at the suggestion but makes you think ... and I can fully understand the aliens attittudes & total puzzlement as to 'why we do what we do' - allow our fello humans to starve, be homeless etc ... and our belief systems ... plus one of them telling him that 'the love that you withhold is the pain you carry' ... VERY true ... for ALL of us ...
A slight downturn in mood for a couple of hours. Ah, such is life.
Click here for
Harbhajan ...
The 'Murmur' arrives ... a gift voucher on offer for best contribution to the next issue ... never needed while i was editor ... oh well, actually it got the juices flowing about what i could possibly send them for their next edition -
}
Quite some day! I don't know what I ate but boy ... two hours of absolutely convulsive vomiting ... the less said the better. I never wanted to eat again ...
Some more recent scribblings ... something about the exquisite irony as being judgemental & unaccepting means people who have a few problems fitting in can become isolated & their problems can escalate until they go right off the deep end and we're all horrified when they do what they do but we helped create the environment that turns a little problem into a major one ... needs work ...
